tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60357398236822872732012-02-05T20:05:29.630-07:00Trumandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16924105525647473422noreply@blogger.comBlogger21100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6035739823682287273.post-4061074287443456642012-02-05T14:17:00.010-07:002012-02-05T14:40:13.634-07:00<span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: arial;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >Yesterday afternoon my husband moved out.<br style="font-family:arial;"><br style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-family:arial;">I married him at the tender age of 17, my entire identity as an adult is intertwined with his. Together we have two beautiful children who now cry because they miss their father.</span><br style="font-family:arial;"><br style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-family:arial;">He left and moved in with his childhood friend, he states that there is nothing between them. But I was his childhood friend, and history has a way of repeating itself.</span><br style="font-family:arial;"><br style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-family:arial;">My logical side understands that he did not leave me for her, I know that me left us, he left me because it was not enough anymore. It is easier though to feel betrayed and hurt imagining he left me for someone else than to feel alone and broken know it is me he is leaving.</span><br style="font-family:arial;"><br style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-family:arial;">This is not something that come out of the blue, we have considered ourselves "separated" for almost a year and 5 months ago decided together that divorce was inevitable. It is one thing to know what the future holds, it is another to live through it.</span><br style="font-family:arial;"><br style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-family:arial;">It is Sunday afternoon. At 2:30 pm every Sunday for the last what seems like a life time he came through the front door home from work. It is that time now and I feel myself anticipating his arrival, but I know he is not coming, he is never coming again.</span><br style="font-family:arial;"><br style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-family:arial;">I know he is not now absent from life, we have children and in the way of the good father he is he will regularly see his boys. He is though absent now from my life.</span><br style="font-family:arial;"><br style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-family:arial;">I am not sure yet what this means for me. I am not sure how I feel.</span><br style="font-family:arial;"><br style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-family:arial;">Sad, hurt, lost or alone. Relieved?</span><br style="font-family:arial;"><br style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-family:arial;">What am I supposed to feel now, the best way to explain what I am feeling is empty.</span><br style="font-family:arial;"><br style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-family:arial;">Empty.</span></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6035739823682287273-406107428744345664?l=mygodisasock.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Trumandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16924105525647473422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6035739823682287273.post-53117556550202288112011-09-13T18:58:00.013-06:002012-02-05T20:05:29.639-07:001. <strike>Get Married</strike> <span style="font-style:italic;">August 2006</span><br />2. Swim Under the Moonlight<br />3. Fly a Kite<br />4. Jump into a Pool Fully Clothed<br />5. Passionately Kiss in the Rain<br />6. Become Fluent in ASL<br />7. Save a Life<br />8. Be a Bridesmaid<br />9. Learn to Bellydance<br />10. Visit a Lighthouse<br />11. Pet a Penguin<br />12. Go on Vacation to a Resort<br />13. Own a Home<br />14. Get Divorced<br />15. Get a Tarot Card Reading<br />16. Go to the Movies Alone<br />17. See an Outdoor Concert<br />18. Loose 10 lbs<br />19. Make Wine at Home<br />20. <strike>Knit a Scarf</strike> <span style="font-style:italic;">October 2011</span><br />21. Go to a Drive-in Movie Theater<br />22. Get a Massage<br />23. Walk the Las Vegas Strip<br />24. Attend a Music Festival<br />25. Sew a Quilt for My Bed<br />26. Visit a Nude Beach<br />27. <strike>Have a Baby</strike> <span style="font-style:italic;">November 2005</span><br />28. See the Northern Lights<br />29. Participate in a Protest<br />30. Spend an Afternoon at the Spa<br />31. Have a One Night Stand<br />32. Go on a Cruise<br />33. Learn Glass Blowing<br />34. Go on a Hot Air Balloon Ride<br />35. Grow an Orchid<br />36. Go on a Real Date<br />37. Learn How to do a Cartwheel<br />38. Have Sex in Public<br />39. Have a Hot-tub on my Deck<br />40. Swim with the Dolphins<br />41. See an Opera Show<br />42. Go on a Blind Date<br />43. Visit Amsterdam<br />44. Drink Absinthe<br />45. Ride a Mechanical Bull<br />46. Go Skinny Dipping<br />47. Kiss Under Mistletoe<br />48. Take Up Yoga<br />49. Take a Ballroom Dancing Class<br />50. Talk My Way Out of a Speeding Ticket<br />51. Be in Two Places at Once<br />52. Have a Vegetable Garden<br />53. Go on a Silent Retreat<br />54. Loose 25 lbs<br />55. <strike>Have Another Baby</strike> <span style="font-style:italic;">October 2007</span><br />56. Try Acupuncture<br />57. Send a Message in a Bottle<br />58. Shower in a Waterfall<br />59. Pay for a Strangers Morning Coffee<br />60. Drink a Fruity Drink in an Exotic Location<br />61. Send a Secret to Postsecret<br />62. See a Cirque de Soleil Show<br />63. Have a Drink Bought for me at a Bar<br />64. Roll Down a Grassy Hill<br />65. Go Whale Watching<br />66. Learn How to Use a Pogo Stick<br />67. Make a Stained Glass Window<br />68. Watch an Eclipse<br />69. Ask Someone on a Date<br />70. Sleep Under the Stars<br />71. Work in a 3rd World Country<br />72. Build a Snow Cave<br />73. Bury a Time Capsule<br />74. Learn to Prepare Sushi<br />75. Take Pole Dancing Lessons<br />76. Go House-boating<br />77. Watch a Romantic Sunset<br />78. Watch a Ballet Performance<br />79. Loose 50 lbs<br />80. Loose 100 lbs<br />81. Learn an Instrument<br />82. Swim with Turtles<br />83. Drink Green Beer on St. Patrick's Day<br />84. Host a Dinner Party<br />85. <strike>Watch a Birth</strike> <span style="font-style: italic;">September 2011</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6035739823682287273-5311755655020228811?l=mygodisasock.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Trumandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16924105525647473422noreply@blogger.com0